One day when Tess and I were visiting Carl Sandburg, one of the uniformed volunteers told me that the people who live here walk at Carl Sandburg all the time and it’s like being on vacation every day.
That stuck with me and that became me. There have been periods in these last 10 years where my goal was to hike Carl Sandburg every day.. and I did it. It’s 3 miles and 700 feet give or take and about 5 miles from home. I can go there with my dog Zeke. I can go alone or I can meet John there and get a coffee before or after or a beer or nothing. It’s Carl Sandburg. It’s here for us. It’s here for me. In the beginning of spring other people start to arrive. Tourists. It makes me proud. You can hear them orienting themselves. Looking at signs, looking at the home on the hill across the lake. During these months there are many days when the parking lot is slam full. Someone left a note on my windshield that I had somehow overlapped a parking spot. These were pre printed notes. I’m sure he could wait to use it so I was today’s lucky target. It took me by surprise. I was a little miffed, a little hurt. Sorry. I said to myself. The nerve. I thought. Don’t you know that this is My Parking Lot? Anyway, no physical contact or confrontation. After all, I’m on vacation every day 😉
Someday I’ll take a count of all the times I’ve done Carl Sandburg. 50, 60, 100? I don’t know and in a way it doesn’t matter. Every time I reach the top of Big Glassy I take the same picture of the view in the distance over the rock face. John always makes a joke of it. How many times do you take the same picture? I don’t know. But I do anyway. In many ways I take it all for granted but in others I think… what if? What if this is the last time? Or more likely What If This turned out to be the last time?
This injury. This, I just decided to call it an injury because it hurts so much. But this little mystery of pain from a bike ride has taken me by surprise and I’m thinking that in order for it to have value that I must recognize it and appreciate it and learn from it. So two things come to mind; pain is subjective but it is real. If someone says they hurt something, Believe them and show empathy. Don’t pass it off and give cheap advice or cheer. Whether it is physical or emotional, pain can be and is All Consuming, Isolating and Demanding! I’m taking time this morning to blog up because I can. Pain put me here but I’m not in pain now so I have this luxury of time to think.
So, the first time or the last time? This was my theme in pursuing this idea of stay and change. You often remember the First Time because you are knowing it’s the first. If it’s good you go back. If it’s good and convenient you go back again and again until maybe it’s a habit. Once it’s a habit, even if it’s good, you might want to break it and do something different. Make a change. And Soooo… how does something become the Last Time?
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