I’ve just now added the serenity prayer and the 12 Steps to my blog and a logical question would be Why? Well because the wisdom contained therein is universal and I too am searching for something to give me a sense of peace and serenity in a world I find to be harsh. I lay awake at night and thoughts course through me Why?

Why are we as a nation so divided? Why does the right wing project such anger and hate? Why are One Million People now dead from a virus that they could have protected themselves against? Why can’t I talk to some of the very people I love about these issues?

Who, what, when, where and why? The first four are questions that can be captured and accumulated in a database. I spent most of my adult professional life collecting and calculating that type of information in a database that I built and that I was very proud of. How many people are in your caseload? How many people went to work, this month? This year? Etc.

But Why?

Why is the only uniquely human question that really cannot be answered or calculated. The Why of things is purely subjective. When it comes to a criminal case it would fall under Motive. Who committed the crime? When did he do it? What did he do?

Why did he do it?

In a criminal case I guess the jury does try to calculate or identify a motive. Something that would make the action seem more logical. Something that would provide a reason. Why did the female prison guard run off with the prisoner? She was in love. It isn’t particularly logical or reasonable but we would accept it as the reason Why.

Why am I staying up all night wrestling with these questions? I am looking for serenity. I think, that I think, that if I could make sense of the things that don’t make sense that I might find serenity. The serenity prayer ultimately finds serenity in a surrender to God. God, as you understand him. Even that simple statement is profound. As you understand him. It is that phrase that allows an agnostic or even an atheist to surrender to God because God doesn’t have to be a Catholic or a Protestant. He really doesn’t have to be male or female. But even without gender or form, God, must be bigger than oneself. Big enough to absorb one’s pain, one’s loss, one’s loneliness. I too, in my skeptics, rational mind, can accept Jesus as my way of understanding. Jesus, who loved others more than himself. Loved his neighbor, turned the other cheek and forgave them because they knew not what they did. And what they did was kill Jesus. Kill him now, worship him later. I am so far from perfect. I, myself am a hypocrite. The hypocrisy that Jesus abhorred. But still as I say the serenity prayer I will say it to Jesus. To Jesus as my personification of Gods perfection. To Jesus as the perfect role model. In that way he is the truth, the light and the way that I will honor, respect and follow. And if I can and if I do then Jesus will be my Savior and my Salvation.

God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change

The Courage to Change the things I can

And the Wisdom to know the difference 

Living one day at a time

Enjoying one moment at at time

Do my best while accepting my limitations and

Turn to Jesus to hear my prayers