One day I was hanging around doing nothing. Just trying to be a good guy, mind my own business and stay out of trouble when Tess was moved to bring this point to my attention that my pants needed to be hemmed up. They look awful! You look awful! How can you go out like that??? Up until then I was feeling pretty good… Ok Ok OK I’ll get it done!!! So I went through my closet and grabbed up several pairs of pants and thought ok let’s see if any of these that still fit in the waist, an immediate eliminator, and then I’ll see about getting them altered. In the process of elimination it came to my attention that my two favorite pairs of pants, pants that actually fit, appeared to be missing. But how could that be? The last time, the only time they’ve been taken out of the house was this past Christmas. I know that because that’s when I wear them and that’s when I wear the Christmas green and Christmas red, which Tess hates. But hey, it’s Christmas 🎅
So it bothered me but not that much. I’m sure they are somewhere, I consoled myself, but as I continued to dig through what occurred to me is an obscene number of pants, none of which I wear but they’re to good to toss out and maybe they’ll fit someday so maybe not to give away either, still my favorite pairs remained incognito. I shared my conundrum with Tess who agreed those were my best pants and we sat there mesmerized in thought, where the heck are they??? So after searching through all our closets and sitting bewildered mentally retracing all our our steps I started looking for clues… I knew I had only taken the one picture to illustrate all the stuff we jam into the car for one little overnight in Charlotte. I found that picture by searching Apple pics through the 875 memories of Christmas 2023 but all it showed was the backside of the hotel trolly ( I should have taken more pictures of car and the hotel room) BUT… I took another look at this one piece of evidence, I Zoomed in super close and there it was. Just a sliver but enough of a sliver to prove that I had in fact packed that red Christmas shirt back into the car and had I done that I’m sure I had my pants hanging with it so I reengaged in yet another search through our closets. I generally sweep all the clothes on hangers off at once and bring then into Tess’s room, lay hers on her bed and take mine upstairs to my closet. But they’re not in My closet, I know now for sure because I have literally emptied it in my attempt to try on every pair for the potential,, Alteration or Donation pile. Newly invigorated by the photographic clue I reentered Tess’s closet with overhead light and headlamp affixed at full beam. I searched high and low. I actually moved things and looked under things. I was about to leave empty handed again when I went to the back line of clothing, someplace they would never ever be…. I looked down at the tightly aligned rainbow of shirts and there in the press was a little red sliver. I parted the surroundings and Voilá there it was. That bright red shirt that Tess hates anyway but on the hangers next to it, my two favorite pairs of pants. I called out in hysteria and raced into the living room clutching my prize. I FOUND THEM!!! Our search had been vindicated our pants had been found.
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