What is it that I want more than anything else in the world? Exhaustion. That’s the only way that I think that I can just Stop Thinking. My mind never stops thinking. It’s not clever or profound. It’s not horrible or fearful or painful. It’s just thinking. Thinking words. Words that just keep coming. Words that are little bits of thoughts that string together that bring on more words or ideas or memories or fantasies. Remembering things that happened things I said. Things I should have said. Things I will say in the future. Words words words words. Some people capture feelings with their words. They write songs that bring out feelings in other people. This is a huge gift. Being able to feel. Which all of us do. But using words to make other people feel. That is the gift. That is the talent or.. that is the work product. If it is a work product then I should be able to do it by working. By working hard enough or long enough. Take these words these feelings and make tem count for something. Give myself an imagery for escape or expose that others can say yes I feel that way too. Or that makes me happy or that makes me sad. This is why I love the writer because they feel but they make oghers feel too. Good night. I’m feeling exhausted.