I woke up feeling optimistic

 Sunday October 3

For some reason I woke up feeling kind of optimistic this morning. It’s 439 now and I’ve had 2 cups of coffee, a piece of pound cake and I’m watching documentaries on the history channel , the cars that built the world. Each of these stories in Food, Games, planes, and cars are about the collaboration and competition that created the things that have become household names. Kelloggs, Parker Brothers Milton Bradley, Boeing, Benz - Mercedes Benz and Rolls & Royce. All people with a driving force of ambition. These are the guys that came before Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos. These guys are hated by some but these are the people who gave us and continue to improve upon the modern world. Competition and collaboration, two dynamic forces that shape human relationships and destiny. Lennon and McCartney collaboration that made beautiful music. Jobs and Gates, competition that gave us the PC and the iPhone. Competition, the force that compels a person to work harder than the other to achieve more than the other to push themselves beyond their own limits and collaboration. Collaboration is that feature in human nature that recognizes its limits in one and its potential in working together. Every collaboration has its own intrinsic competition but stays within the bonds and boundaries of love, respect and trust.

God I just looked up and saw a picture of Nolan with a new haircut at age 9. He is a Young Man! Our generation has been lived. We enjoyed many things of the modern world. We’ve also made a mess of things with science deniers and white supremacy. Ironically there is a certain supremely demonstrated by or in the names I listed above. Yes it is true that white people and among them a significant number of Jews from Einstein to Seinfeld, have made the world a better place but they do it by working hard and applying their genius, not their hate. Anyway I am feeling a burst of energy and optimism and feeling like my contribution or participation anyway in by our ability to invest. I invested the 100k which has grown to 800k but has stumbled this year back to 600k but these are good, solid, great companies. I believe in the essential good nature of people and Americans and that our democracy and our capitalism and the freedom of the individual to survive and thrive through honest work will survive this dark age of Trumpism.

The intense pain I’ve been subject too for the past 3 months has been cured or fixed by the technical skills of my surgeon and the combined technology of modern medicine. Without that I would be dead. I was embracing death when dealing with this pain. I could understand why pain relief would be the number one priority I’d medicines. I can understand drug addiction to pain meds but I didn’t go there. This morning I feel optimistic. That’s the reason for my note. I’ll take another long walk today, watch a football game, love my wife and my friends and my dog and nature and count my blessings. I am rich. People are suffering. People are dying. People are cruel to people and hateful and ignorant But people are good and inventive and smart. Some people are very very lucky and that would be me. I have made a life habit of putting myself down. I don’t want to do that here. I have been blessed so at this stage in my life it’s time to count them. My dad once told me that being self conscious or putting yourself down is selfish. I’m starting to get that. One thing I’ve been learning is that the people you think that they have it made because of good looks or being tall or being rich or being famous. It’s doesn’t really add up that way. Everybody has their own set of challenges, their own insecurities and their own problems. I read somewhere recently, single people have single problems, married people have married problems. So true. When my best friends Dave and Alice were married I thought they have it made. When Tess and I were married I thought we had it made. Both are true. My marriage has been the most fulfilling and rewarding part of my life But… no, I don’t have it made it just changes my perspective and my sense of responsibility. Instead or worrying about will I meet someone I worry about can I take care of someone. It’s the worry that is the problem. Worry is ok if it motivates you to do something to make things better. Tess and I have made things better. We had our work, our family, we have our home and we have each other. It’s time to count our blessings and put worry aside. As I started this note, this morning I am happy. This morning I am optimistic!