America First?

 I am an American. A white male, born, raised and living in America. I love America. I’ve only known to love America and yet today, this morning, last night and probably tonight I live in fear. Probably not the fear that is felt in Ukraine or Israel or many other parts of the world but fear that we are heading in that direction. 

Today I am wealthy. I am married. We have a home that is paid for, money in the bank and money in the stock market. Not the kind of millions that actors, singers and athletes have, but money enough to live in comfort. More money than we ever dreamed of having when we used to pawn our little TV for 25 dollars to get through the weekend. I spent more than 25 dollars on beer and wine this weekend. We just had a most wonderful weekend with our family as described in my last post and yet I am anxious. I am in fear. Today I’ll meet my best friend John for a beer. We’ll talk about Karel, hopefully getting better. We’ll talk about politics. Often times John will have a somewhat positive view. Tess says that they will raise the debt ceiling and all will be ok. I’m in fear. Fear they won’t raise the debt ceiling. Fear we will lose our savings. Fear we’ll loose our income. Fear that they will create economic chaos to usher in their autocracy. That they will blame the democrats, the liberals, the woke, the immigrants for everything. That Trump will reassert that only he can fix us. Only he can save us. Save us from what? Democracy, freedom, integrity, decency, honesty. He is a bold faced , in your face liar. Is this what America wants as our leader? Fear, anxiety and fear. I can’t sleep. I can’t relax. I can’t meditate my way to calmness. I count my blessings. I know I’m more blessed than so many others but yet I’m afraid to loose what we have. I fear Trump and more than Trump I fear Trumpsters and haters. I fear the rise of hate and hatred for others. I fear the slogans of hate and the raising of the Swastika and the confederate flag and the Trump flag all as if in solidarity. I love America but This is not the America that I love. This is a part of America that I fear. I write out these feelings hoping that I am wrong. Praying that I am wrong. Hoping that Tess is right. That all of this is political theater and they will not deliberately sabotage our economy. That they will put aside their partisan pride and egos and actually put America First.

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep 

If I should die before I wake

I pray the Lord my soul to take

God bless Mommy

God bless Daddy

God bless Linda

God bless Tess

God bless Lauren

God bless Sam

God bless Nolan and Wes

God bless everyone in our family and friends

And

God bless everybody in the whole wide world

Amen