So very interesting and personal. The distinction between alone and lonely. My wife is very self contained. The plague, as you identify it, was made for her, providing cover for the behavior she chose by nature. We are three, including our little dog and he is the object of our deepest affection. Even our daughter and grandchildren she sees in small doses, as she puts it. Your observation that human connection often leads to stress or being hurt or disappointed is one of the reasons for self isolation. I also think that marriage provides the couple with a certain cocoon of safety. We are alone but we are alone with each other. I have joked we spend half our lives searching for someone to love and the next half avoiding them. Now after so many years together we are more aware that our lives are limited. She often says that she wants to go first. I understand her feelings but I try to lighten it up. Ok but not tonight okay? I think the most important and lasting element of our relationship is trust. As the years transform the early intensity of romance and this belief that we are in perfect harmony, reality will challenge and could crush that early intensity of love. But if you hold on, realize that you are each two and distinctively different people… that first lover’s quarrel…. If you don’t let that break you, you will find what I now consider a much deeper sense of love and that love is trust.